Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Something unexpected

I was chatting with him today... we discussed whether or not he understood me and he said he did and didn't. I asked for clarification and he told me that he understands that I am poly and why I am attracted to poly relationships (to some extent) but the concept is still alien to him. We briefly talked about how he is not psychologically setup for poly relationships and then left it at that.

Later in the day I decided that I was in a space where I could ask him a question that I'd never asked before. The email conversation went as follows:

Me: I'm going to ask a question, and you are free to either tell me you aren't going to answer it, or to answer it honestly. If I was single, would we have gotten together?

Him: If I thought I was a match for you and capable of maintaining your interest, probably yes

Me: *ponder* An interesting and unexpected response. Thanks for being honest with me. Though I am intrigued by the "capable of maintaining [my] interest". I never realised that I came across as fickle

Him: Not fickle, not what I meant. You're more complex and challenging than I am. Regardless, you are better off with your other man and your husband, they are both far better than I am/could be.

Me: That's your low self-esteem talking there sweetheart. I did fall in love with you remember. I don't think that anyone is "far better" than you are/could be.... apart from their polyness, my men are both flawed and damaged human beings (as most of us are). No one is perfect and I don't expect anyone to be perfect. I do agree that I am complex... and I know I am challenging, and that I challenge people with my world views/understandings/thoughts. And all of this would make me relatively high maintenance I guess.... though I don't know... my husband says I'm not, and my other man hasn't indicated that I am. I guess I'm intense, like my two men currently. Intense isn't bad, just different.

An interesting conversation I'm sure you will agree. It may continue tomorrow, it may not. But as I was saying to my husband, it isn't going anywhere... He may be jealous of what I currently have, but he had the opportunity and I'm sorry he isn't psychologically built for my lifestyle, but there isn't anything I can do about that.


Blogger ida gasp said...

This is really interesting.

7:47 pm  
Blogger Fian said...


A new visitor.


Hi Rebecca. Just cruising the other bloggers in Melbourne(a fascinating activity) and found you.

My partner KD and I are in a D/s relationship. We have other friends who are poly and well isn't life funny?

check out the blogs if you like or drop me a line if you like to chat

See ya

10:15 pm  

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