Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Thinking time

I went and spent a weekend at with my sister in country New South Wales. It was nice. Before I went up to see her I "outed" myself and my husband and she took that quite well. She was concerned for me and was worried that I'd hurt myself, my marriage or my husband. We talked things through and she is attempting to understand... but it cool about it all.

I spend a few days on my own as my sister was unable to take all the time that I was with her off from work. So I spent that time thinking things through... attempting to understand how I felt about the other man and my cessation of pursuing him.

I think in summary I feel
  • sad that something which I believe would work so well has been denied
  • angry that he wouldn't effectively communicate with me so I didn't know what he wanted/thought in relation to it all
  • angry that I had put myself through so much pain
  • sad and a feeling of loss that I couldn't convince him to give it a try
Some feelings I just sat with for a while and let pass... they didn't need to be named or investigated, just felt and farewelled.

And in other news, I also outed myself to another sister and her husband tonight. She took it very well and her husband was quite shocked... but not in a bad way. He had to rapidly adjust his world view of me... I like doing that to people at times.

1 Comments:

Anonymous JC said...

hug

I'm sorry that you didn't feel comfortable outing yourself to me earlier. I think anytime on from about (my) age 20 would have gained the same reaction from me.

But thankyou for your confiding in me, I appreciate the effort that must have taken you. I just want you to be happy. I hope your husband doesn't mind you outing him at the same time. ;)

The offer always stands that if you need a place to stay or someone to come out and talk to etc, you are always welcome here.

Love you tonnes.

12:57 pm  

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