I spend a few days on my own as my sister was unable to take all the time that I was with her off from work. So I spent that time thinking things through... attempting to understand how I felt about the other man and my cessation of pursuing him.
I think in summary I feel
- sad that something which I believe would work so well has been denied
- angry that he wouldn't effectively communicate with me so I didn't know what he wanted/thought in relation to it all
- angry that I had put myself through so much pain
- sad and a feeling of loss that I couldn't convince him to give it a try
And in other news, I also outed myself to another sister and her husband tonight. She took it very well and her husband was quite shocked... but not in a bad way. He had to rapidly adjust his world view of me... I like doing that to people at times.