Conflicting Counsel

Before I travelled up here to be with him again, I received conflicting counsel from two friends. The first one said, "Just grab him and do him" and the second one said, "Wait". It took me a while to work through both of these. There is merit in both, but I need an approach that isn't going to kill the friendship and foce him to reject me outright, which would also kill me.

So the more cautious approach is the wait, but I don't want to wait here, sitting dumb, saying or doing nothing. So I push, gently, ending up at the same place each time. He knows that I love him, he knows that I care, but he... well I don't really know what he knows and thinks about himself. I know that he loves me, but he has problems with the whole poly thing, and that is where his issues lie.

Currently The Whitlams song, Ease of the Midnight Visit, is ringing true to me.... which isn't such a good thing as it is a very sad song.

Its not enough to be in love wth you
I want to be loved too
Yeah thats the ease of the midnight visit
Takes a leap of faith that you might be alone
Whens a fool like me gonna drive straight home?

So I'm stil sitting here at square three or two or something and not moving beyond that. I've joked with James that I should get him drunk and then kiss him... and that is still a viable option. I don't know how he'd feel about that the next day. I certainly wouldn't mind, unless he blamed me... and then I'd be grumpy at him being grumpy at me. But I don't think he's that type of guy. Maybe that would be all it would take. A simple kiss when he is relaxed and his inhibitions are down. Maybe then he'd say yes... or maybe he'd say it was a mistake.

Time will tell... and I have the rest of my life to wait and figure it out.