My husband the drunken angel

So, we had a cocktail party with a whole lot of bisexual friends last night. My husband got very drunk. He had just about one of everything that was on offer. It was a quiet night, but I had fun. He decided to write an email to the other man. So this is what he said.

Pissed off my nut! Yay!

Perfect excuse for writing poorly-constructed personal emails. Yay (some more)!!!

For God's sake, Scott, Bec wants you. She loves you, she wants you, and she is free to have you. You want her (as anyone who sees you two together can attest) and you're single, and I'm sure you love her to some degree. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE???

Okay, so things will be a bit tricky. Juggling a fulfilling love life between the two of you while maintaining one between her and me will be challenging. That's fine! We can work that out. She wants to, and I want her to have what she wants and be happy. We're all willing and happy to give it a go, see if it works out.

If it doesn't... well, ooops. Too bad... but it was worth a try.

Frankly, when you're talking to a polyamorous bisexual, "because you're married" just doesn't fucking cut it. You're either going to have to say "Ah, what the hell, let's go" or start giving her some significantly better reasons. She hasn't told you so, but your reasoning thus far has left her somewhat less than convinced.

Scott, you're a wonderful guy - smart, kind, and deeply moral. THis is why Bec loves you. It isn't a crush or infatuation. She isn't going through a phase. She has loved you for several years, and every time she sees you she loves you evern more. This is NOT GOING AWAY.

SHe isn't going to change her mind. She's going to keep prodding at your boundaries, getting under your skin, trying to convince you, putting it crassly, to fuck her brains out. This will end when you a) fuck her brains out, or b) state quite plainly with well-argued reasons why option a) will never happen.

She wants you bad, and weak "Well, you're married" excuses don't mean much to her.

I said I wouldn't nag... and I'm not! This is my first message to you about this in ages. It isn't nagging if it's once a month. :)

Scott, stopping worrying about what mainstream society says a relationship should be. Bec loves you and wants you, and you want her. Just go for it. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. You'll still be friends and all will be fine. If it _does_ work out, you'll be in a relationship with a wonderful, beautiful, loving woman who just adores you, with the salight drawback that she'll spend a lot time with her hubby, splitting her week between you and him.

*hug*

Just... give it some thought... For Bec's happiness, give it some thought.

*more hugs* You're a great person. Sorry for being a drunken bastard on you.

I just sent him a letter saying the same thing, in essense, but a whole lot more tactfully. I explained that I love him and will do everything I can to avoid causing him pain and that I am NOT offering him casual sex. I just don't do casual sex. I'm offering him a relationship. Anything from friends who love each other and who have sex to an equal share in the rest of my life. I have also given him the power of veto over any future or current relationships with the exception of my husband. I trust him to use his powers for good.

So lets see if he is still talking to me next week