Hardly surprising, but disappointing none the less

So here I am in Canberra, after traveling up specifically to find out why I can't seduce him. We chatted around the issue a little bit before I explained my realisation from the last Poly discussion night.

I realised that I have a rather unusual flaw. I often think that people who I am quite similar to, and who share very similar interests to me, actually think more like me. He told me that he is "very" different from me and agreed that he is monogamous.

I texted this to my husband who asked me if I had made it clear that if he changes his mind that I'm cool with that. I showed him the message and then told my husband I had done so. My husband wanted to make sure that I wasn't too shattered. After careful consideration I realised that the wall I had purposefully built after the last Poly discussion, was there for a good reason. The answer I received was actually the answer I expected.

My other man said that he realised that I had an ulterior motive when I was coming to visit him. I explained to him that my ulterior motive wasn't to seduce him, but to find out why I couldn't seduce him.

Things are still good between us though. I'm still allowed to snuggle with him in bed in the morning, give him hugs, back rubs and hold hands where ever we go.

I don't know if I am convinced that he is 100% monogamous or just terrified of the complication and potential pain that could come out of this if he agreed to enter into it. Either way, I'll let it go for the moment and play nice (well as nice as I can play).

My husband also sent him another email. The text is as follows:

It's cool.
I sort of understand your feeling, and sort of don't...  I'm not some kind of free-sex hippie slut who can boff anyone - I need to feel a spark of friendship, some kind of chemistry, or it just won't happen.
That said, I find it hard to understand the mind of a totally monogamous person.  Just kinda alien to me, I suppose.  That said, it's all cool.  I'll try not to tease or nag or anything like that.  I married Bec for a reason - I think she's the greatest woman on this planet - and as such I find it baffling that a single guy who likes Bec a lot as a friend, and (I suspect, though you've never said so) finds her quite attractive, could turn her down.  She's wonderful!  What are you thinking, you looney???
Anyway...  I respect your decision 100%, even if I can't relate to it.  I am sure Bec will leave the door open for you if you ever change your mind, but I will try to leave you alone on that topic.  You and Bec are platonic friends from now on, unless you - and only you - decide otherwise.
*hug*
You're a great bloke.  I'm disappointed, as I know it would have made Bec happy, but you will also make her happy as a friend.  You've been very good to her, and very gentle in turning her down, and I respect you more than ever for that.
Enjoy your weekend, you fucking lunatic.

So... where to from here?