My husband is an angel
He sent this email today to the other man.
Just wanted to drop you a quick email. Nothing too scary, I promise.
Bec has passed on a few of the things you two have been talking about and I just wanted to reassure you on a few topics.
First up, and most important, is that I want Bec to be happy. She wants to be with both you and me, and she believes it will make her happy. We have discussed it, and I agree with her, so I am cool with it. You are my friend though, and I want you to be happy too, which is why I am writing this in the first place. :) You are an exceptionally nice and cool person, and I trust you to be good to Bec, and to treat her at least as well as I do. I know you will never willingly allow her to be hurt. If I didn't trust you implicitly, this whole situation would have been over before it started.
Next up, jealousy is not an issue. I am not naive enough to think I won't feel jealous at all, but if I feel even the slightest tickling of it, I have promised Bec that we will immediately talk about it and sort it out. That said, I haven't been jealous yet. Having you visit has never been anything but pleasant and fun, and I sincerely mean that.
Now, I know you want someone of your own to love, and this is natural. Bec and I have only arrived at this point through many trials and errors, all of which have served to deepen our love and trust for each other. The whole poly thing is just not for everyone, I know that, but I find myself wondering if you are aware of all the options available to you. Bec doesn't expect you to be exclusive, and she doesn't expect you to love her forever. At the same time, she doesn't mind if you do. She only wants you to give her whatever you are prepared to give her, which may be anything ranging from a single occasion that serves to deepen your friendship even though you never repeat it, right through to her becoming the pivot in a V relationship. She and I have talked through the possibilities for the future, and anything short of either you or me leaving her life is acceptable to both of us.
In summary... just forget about me. I mean, Bec will never be just yours and nobody else's, but she and I have our feelings about this whole situation completely sorted. All that matters now is what you want and what you honestly believe will make you happy. Don't worry about me being jealous or hurt, because it just isn't going to happen, and even if it does it will be a matter for Bec and me to sort out. Just think about what you want, what Bec wants, and whether these two sets of things are reconcilable. I suspect they are, but the decision is ultimately yours.
*hug* You're a great person, Scott. I really mean that. I don't know if I would be this comfortable with anybody else being pursued by my wife. You have a genuinely good heart. Bec trusts you, and I trust you. She loves you. It was a shock for me to hear it at first, but I have accepted it.
Sorry if I seem to be lecturing you. I just wanted to make sure you understand exactly where I stand in all of this. It's one thing to be told by Bec "James thinks this..." and something else to hear it from me. All I care about is the happiness of two people I love, one as my wife and one as my friend. Everything else is negotiable.
Just wanted to drop you a quick email. Nothing too scary, I promise.
Bec has passed on a few of the things you two have been talking about and I just wanted to reassure you on a few topics.
First up, and most important, is that I want Bec to be happy. She wants to be with both you and me, and she believes it will make her happy. We have discussed it, and I agree with her, so I am cool with it. You are my friend though, and I want you to be happy too, which is why I am writing this in the first place. :) You are an exceptionally nice and cool person, and I trust you to be good to Bec, and to treat her at least as well as I do. I know you will never willingly allow her to be hurt. If I didn't trust you implicitly, this whole situation would have been over before it started.
Next up, jealousy is not an issue. I am not naive enough to think I won't feel jealous at all, but if I feel even the slightest tickling of it, I have promised Bec that we will immediately talk about it and sort it out. That said, I haven't been jealous yet. Having you visit has never been anything but pleasant and fun, and I sincerely mean that.
Now, I know you want someone of your own to love, and this is natural. Bec and I have only arrived at this point through many trials and errors, all of which have served to deepen our love and trust for each other. The whole poly thing is just not for everyone, I know that, but I find myself wondering if you are aware of all the options available to you. Bec doesn't expect you to be exclusive, and she doesn't expect you to love her forever. At the same time, she doesn't mind if you do. She only wants you to give her whatever you are prepared to give her, which may be anything ranging from a single occasion that serves to deepen your friendship even though you never repeat it, right through to her becoming the pivot in a V relationship. She and I have talked through the possibilities for the future, and anything short of either you or me leaving her life is acceptable to both of us.
In summary... just forget about me. I mean, Bec will never be just yours and nobody else's, but she and I have our feelings about this whole situation completely sorted. All that matters now is what you want and what you honestly believe will make you happy. Don't worry about me being jealous or hurt, because it just isn't going to happen, and even if it does it will be a matter for Bec and me to sort out. Just think about what you want, what Bec wants, and whether these two sets of things are reconcilable. I suspect they are, but the decision is ultimately yours.
*hug* You're a great person, Scott. I really mean that. I don't know if I would be this comfortable with anybody else being pursued by my wife. You have a genuinely good heart. Bec trusts you, and I trust you. She loves you. It was a shock for me to hear it at first, but I have accepted it.
Sorry if I seem to be lecturing you. I just wanted to make sure you understand exactly where I stand in all of this. It's one thing to be told by Bec "James thinks this..." and something else to hear it from me. All I care about is the happiness of two people I love, one as my wife and one as my friend. Everything else is negotiable.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home