Ho Hum...

Ok... Despite promising not to talk to him about the email I mentioned to him that I'd told my husband about the first part of the email (via email).

The transcript is as follows:

Him: Sheesh
Me: What sheesh?
Him: nice and awkward
Me: sorry... not really awkward... he was surprised but doesn't seem to care.... I wasn't 100% forthright with him though... I suppose I should stop talking about this now though hmm?
Him: probably, because its awkward and complicated and I can't give you what you want

I replied with something along the lines of...

I don't know what I want. I want to continue being friends with you and I'm happy being with you. You can't miss what you've never had.

So, I have no fucking idea what to do next. He may or may not respond. My trip to visit him at the end of April is going to be potentially very awkward, or very good. He's got a month to sort himself out and think about what he wants. I've got the same time to try and figure that out for myself.

I feel a bit sad that he responded that he can't give me what I want. But as I've stated, I don't know what I really want anyway.

I really need to have lower standards.