ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh for fucks sake. I was confident that I could slowly work on the other man and find out gently whether or not he'd be interested in me, in continuing our relationship to more than it is for the moment.
My husband had this conversation with him:
Husband: I have to ask... are you interested at all? Bec just doesn't know, plus she has that whole "making the friendship turn weird"worry on top of it.
The other one: honestly, no. not that i don't find your wife attractive, it just that she's in a box marked "friend and MARRIED" which means that as far as my libido's concerned she's not just out of reach but off orbitting saturn
When he told me, I was shocked. Then I felt rejected and shamed.
I was quite upset that he'd done it when we'd discussed it and I thought I had impressed on him that I was taking the softly softly approach. He felt really bad that he'd done it after he realised how upset I was by the whole thing. I comforted him, and said that I'd get over it. - which is fairly accurate.
He realised that I was working on things slowly and subtlely, and that he'd done the equivalent of coming in and kicking my tower of blocks down. I told him that I'd continue doing things my way... and maybe he'd forced the issue.
Though on reflection now in the conversation, other than we are apparently a weird couple, the issue hasn't been forced at all.
On the other hand, I have discovered that he finds me attractive. Now I just have to work on it a bit harder.
My husband had this conversation with him:
Husband: I have to ask... are you interested at all? Bec just doesn't know, plus she has that whole "making the friendship turn weird"worry on top of it.
The other one: honestly, no. not that i don't find your wife attractive, it just that she's in a box marked "friend and MARRIED" which means that as far as my libido's concerned she's not just out of reach but off orbitting saturn
When he told me, I was shocked. Then I felt rejected and shamed.
I was quite upset that he'd done it when we'd discussed it and I thought I had impressed on him that I was taking the softly softly approach. He felt really bad that he'd done it after he realised how upset I was by the whole thing. I comforted him, and said that I'd get over it. - which is fairly accurate.
He realised that I was working on things slowly and subtlely, and that he'd done the equivalent of coming in and kicking my tower of blocks down. I told him that I'd continue doing things my way... and maybe he'd forced the issue.
Though on reflection now in the conversation, other than we are apparently a weird couple, the issue hasn't been forced at all.
On the other hand, I have discovered that he finds me attractive. Now I just have to work on it a bit harder.
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