Thursday, March 17, 2005

Assume makes an ass out of you and me

Grrr... blogger error loses my whole post... Must remember to press "Save as Draft" next time.

Anyway, in brief - because I don't want to retype 200 words or so - he hadn't read the email message I referred to in the previous post. I only discovered this later that day and reacted quite badly to this news. He refused to read the email or discuss it until after I left, so it didn't leave me many opportunities.

We snuggled a lot, including me crawling under the covers in his bed on a couple of the mornings. I flirted quite outragously, won many games of Scrabble (go me) and felt loved. He didn't kiss me (except when I left) , but let me wander around with him hand in hand (except when at work - which is ok), hug him very frequently and to give him a massage.

I told him that I loved him during this trip up north, and I don't know what he thinks of that as he deflected the conversation away very quickly... but didn't back away from me physically or emotionally.

He's admitted to me that he is generally a closed person who feels silly talking about his feelings, however this time he showed me around the places of his childhood - his school, earlier homes and other places that were special to him.

I don't honestly know what is going to happen next. I know he's read my email now, and as I put all that stuff in it about not having to deal with it unless he wants to, I'm kinda stuck. What do I do now? I want to talk to him about it, but I can't do it over email... Oh well.

And in other news, I told my husband (on our anniversary no less) that I did have feelings for the other man. He was surprised, but when I explained that I didn't love the other man like I loved him and that I loved him more than a good friend... he seemed ok. It hasn't come up in conversation yet.

So... who knows what will happen next.

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